What are my obligations to others?

 In what is becoming a trend, the June 22 Make it Better (MiB) Table was full – with change makers gathering to do some inner work together.  

We started in the Make it Better Lab space for drinks, and the opening rituals which included acknowledging country and dwelling on (two of) the MiB ‘rules’ - ‘Be present’ and ‘Leave your cape at the door’). Col reminded us through his acknowledgment that Indigenous wisdom is often missing from our wrestles to solve the problems facing us.  

Col gave us a glimpse into what the question was going to be until he reflected on the writings of Tyson Yunkaporta, whose work has been described as ‘reverse anthropology’ (studying Western culture via Indigenous wisdom). Yunkaporta puts forward the theory that ‘narcissism is kept in check through the levels of obligation’ existing in Indigenous communities and culture. Hence, the question morphed into its current form from What are the limits to my compassion? 

Prompted by Yunkaporta, we pondered whether rampant narcissism overrode our obligations to others, and if obligation to others stems from our relationship to them. We considered whether one of our obligations was to see ourselves in the ‘other’, and therefore to treat them with kindness – often not knowing what was going on beneath the surface for them. Around the table, we acknowledged some opportunities to live out our empathy that were lost.  

Like the last MiB Table, we came away sensing and valuing the importance of connection – both to others and to place – as being crucial to exploring the ways we were obligated to others and how we should act on that sense of obligation. The paradox, of course, is that the more we disconnected from our own need to fulfil and satisfy our desires, the more connected we become to others and the more we can live out our obligations.  

Such a summary, of course, shortchanges the depth of the conversation.   

Speaking of obligations and their benefits, you may have picked up in the comms that we’re experimenting with some new expectations of participants. If you’ve been to a MiB Table, you’ll appreciate that participation in the initial set-up of the conversation, including our new beginning ritual, is important to be able to engage the conversation in flow with everyone else. So, if people are unable to be there at 3.30pm (new start time) and stay until 6.00pm, then we’re asking them to come next time instead. 

Please RSVP as early as possible. Our commitment to intimacy means we cap the numbers.  

Finally, note that the July Make it Better Table will morph into a book launch for difference, the COVID writing project that honours the legacy of the donkey wheel Foundation founders through a series of behind-the-scenes stories of the Foundation’s efforts to make a different difference. There will be room for more people than a usual MiB Table night, but please RSVP. 

We would love to be further connected with you.